I’ll set it aside for them, I bet they are looking everywhere!” Say you see 50 bucks on the ground and pick it up. In English, we already use singular “they” all the time when the gender of a person is unknown. “You’re only one person! How does that work?” How a person looks or dresses is not an automatic confirmation of what you suppose their gender identity must be.

Not only that, but - as our cis-het normative society can sometimes struggle to grasp - people who do identify as boys or girls can still look any number of ways, too. It has nothing to do with who or what I actually am. If someone else looks at me and decides I am one thing or another based on the clothes I’m wearing, or whether I’m wearing makeup, that assumption is on them. We’ll also spend a little time unpacking what gender neutral and non-gender pronouns mean more generally. So to save everyone (myself included) some time and confusion, I’ve rounded up some responses to the most common questions - including a few of the frankly weirdest ones - that I get about my pronouns as a nonbinary person. But I do get tired of explaining the same things about gender neutral pronouns over and over. It’s usually well intentioned I get that people are just trying to understand. Sometimes people say okay and move on, but other times, they’ll start to ask a whole bunch of questions that I don’t really feel like answering. When I tell someone that my pronouns are they/them/their, I never know what to expect. People say the darndest things about they/them pronouns.

What is the pronoun